At last!  I can start using other carriers!  But we have to catch public transport into town and somehow I find myself reaching for the wrap…. after all, it does work best for the bus.  I start to tie it around me and become aware of a terrible smell.  It’s the wrap - it reeks after a week of heavy use.  Unwinding it reluctantly, I buckle Meena into a structured carrier; it’s fast and easy but feels strangely clunky.  I throw the wrap into the washing machine before we head out of the door and I find myself wondering, just for a moment, how I’ll cope without it for a couple of days.

When I first got interested in using baby slings and carriers, I didn’t have any friends nearby who could show me their stash. The only “proper” sling in the local shops was a stretchy wrap that I didn’t think would suit my needs. So I started buying second-hand slings as a way of trying things out without outlaying lots of cash. I’ve lost count of how many second-hand slings I’ve been through over the past three years. Here’s a few of the lessons I learned along the way:

Safety First

If buying in person (eg at a garage sale or market), take a good look at the seams and fabric. You don’t want seams coming apart, or a small hole becoming a big rip, when it’s supporting your baby’s weight. No matter how pretty the fabric, pass on it if there’s any safety concerns. For slings with plastic clips, fasten and unfasten each clip to ensure none are broken. I’ve occasionally seen a plastic clip that looks OK, but doesn’t fit neatly to clip up because one of the prongs is ever so slightly bent. Only takes a minute to check these things out.

Read reviews

When looking at online sale listings, take a few moments to read reviews of both the product and vendor. Start with the manufacturer’s website for details on brand new price, how it works, any past product recalls. Then move on to user community websites like The Babywearer, or Baby Carriers Downunder’s forum, for personal opinions on the product. If buying online, also check the seller’s reputation: eBay or TradeMe rating, The Babywearer feedback, feedback on other online forums that have trading rooms.

Buying at markets or garage sales means decisions are made on-the-spot. It helps to read up on popular brands, so you know what you’re looking at if you come across one in your bargain hunting. You’d be surprised at what you can find at op shops or garage sales and priced well below market average, simply because nobody knows what the thing is worth.

Beware Postage

Shipping a large or heavy item across Australia or internationally can be expensive. I find that postage to New Zealand is about the same as postage to Perth (I’m in Canberra), but postage from the USA or Europe is a killer. Be sure to factor postage costs into the total amount you can afford to pay for the sling.

Ways to Pay

Paypal is an easy and quick way to pay for online purchases, especially internationally where there are hefty bank fees for direct deposit to overseas accounts. There’s also some level of buyer protection for Paypal transactions. Sometimes you can swap a sling you’re not using for one you think you will use - check out the FSOT (For Sale Or Trade) listings on The Babywearer or Baby Carriers Downunder.

Not sure?

If you’re not sure whether a particular sling will suit you, talk to the seller about a return policy. If you know the seller well, they may be happy to let you try it out before buying it, provided you’re willing to pay the postage costs (eg pop a replacement prepaid satchel in when you return the sling if it doesn’t suit). Most times I didn’t know the seller, so returns weren’t an option. Because of this, I factored in reselling possibilities when deciding how much I could afford to pay for the sling. I wouldn’t pay more than what seemed to be market average, so that I wouldn’t lose more than postage costs if it didn’t work out.

I’ve got it, now what do I do with it?

Once you get your purchase home, you’ll need to know how to use it. Sometimes second-hand slings don’t come with the original printed or DVD instructions.

YouTube has plenty of online instructions - just look out for good lighting so you can see what they’re doing, and watch more than one video in case the first one you see isn’t doing it right. I invested in a Tummy2Tummy DVD, as it shows non-brand-specific instructions for all the basic sling styles - you could try borrowing a copy from a local babywearing group (some Australian Breastfeeding Association groups also have a copy in their library). Many manufacturer DVDs can be used for other brands in the same style (eg the DVD for one brand of ring sling could be used to learn how to use other brands of ring sling). Ask around and you may be able to borrow someone else’s instruction DVD. Best of all though, get yourself to a local babywearers group meeting or find someone else in your area using that style of sling, as there’s nothing like one-on-one instruction when you’re learning something new.

Tags: fsot, stash

I can’t do it.  Just when I thought I’d developed a kind of wrapping invincibility, I find myself totally stumped by a simple challenge - breastfeeding in a wrap.  We’re out for a bushwalk and Meena is crouched over like a hunchback trying to reach my nipple; but I can’t get the wrap loose enough without running out of fabric.  I sigh and sit down on a nearby log to feed her. 

 

I feel like I’m back where I began, in a muddy forest, flummoxed by this stupid piece of cloth.  It’s a rainy day (rare in Adelaide) and I start to realise that wrapping presents a whole new challenge with wet, muddy ground underfoot.  Once Meena is on my back, she’s going to stay there!  Forget about changing carries - no way can I keep her dry and restrained while I redo the wrap.  No unwrapping for every wriggle, just to see if she needs to pee.  Sorry, kid, you’ll have to go in your nappy.  I throw her on my back again and we head off.  She’s as happy as ever, checking out the scenery and eventually tucking in her arms and starting to hum as she drifts off to sleep.  She wakes up as we arrive home.  I let the wrap slither to the ground and put her on the potty where she obligingly does her pee; then she wiggles down and toddles off to find something inappropriate to play with.  Why was I ever worried? 

 

 

I’ve just realised it’s the last day of my week as a wrapper and I still haven’t tried a hip carry.  I must have had a mental block caused by my slip-knot phobia.  Time to try it. 

 

My attempt at a CHCC takes a ludicrously long time to get right.  Matters are not helped by the fact that Emmy wants to be my wrappee so I am trying to wrap around her 17kg lanky body while she plays at being a ‘little baby’ and dangles limply.  I nearly fall about laughing trying to imagine this as a viable alternative to a ring sling.  I pull Emmy out and stuff Meena in… tighten, tighten, tighten… and it looks good!  My knot actually slips!  It’s incredibly comfortable; I saunter around the house admiring my wrapping and daydreaming about how my life will be transformed by the ability to go from back to hip carries with just one carrier.  It looks pretty cool too… well, apart from the long tail.  I really need another, shorter wrap… hey, what am I thinking??!!  This whole experiment was supposed to either prove I could get by comfortably with just one carrier, or convince me to sell the wrap and stick with the carriers I know and love.  I do NOT need more wraps…

 

Something strange happens as I ruck Meena on my back this afternoon - I enjoy it.  For the first time it feels instinctive and I get her in position without even thinking about what goes where.  It’s not a technique that follows any online instructions by an expert and probably won’t impress seasoned wrappers out there - but it seems to work for us.  And I’m not worried about dropping her in the process - another first.

 

Lightbulb Moment No. 1 - Why a wrap is better than a mei tai, pod or onbu if your baby likes to tuck her arms in during the tying process.

Ever tossed your baby on to your back in your trusty ABC, only to have her tuck in her arms before you get it tied, and nearly plunge to the floor?  That doesn’t happen in a wrap.  Meena’s wriggly body is pinned securely to my back from armpit to knee even as I fiddle inexpertly with the rails. 

 

Lightbulb Moment No. 2 - if the baby’s bum hasn’t popped out of a ruck after a week of wrapping, it’s not something you need to be in a constant state of panic about.

 

If there’s one thing I was more worried about than anything else before the start of this week, it was the dreaded Rucksack Bum-Popping.  I had visions of my child falling out, or at least dangling precariously by her armpits in front of shocked crowds, creating a babywearing public-relations nightmare.  After a week of doing rucks that have been at best messy and at worst totally incompetent, I haven’t come close to a bum-popping incident.  I think I can relax.

 

 

 

When I read the book Affluenza, by Oliver James, I initially felt smug.  Our society may have been wallowing in a mire of depression, caused by its addiction to acquiring material wealth and social status, but I was happily immune.  We were living a simple, non-materialistic life and the condition definitely didn’t affect me.

 

 Then I started to think about how many baby carriers I owned.  I was getting by comfortably with four carriers for two children, while living in India, and yet had several more carriers back home.  I would spend more time than I cared to admit online, looking at carriers for sale, most of which I would never buy, reading reviews and daydreaming about which I would buy if money were no object.  I had reached a point where I had great carriers that worked well for me, and yet I always felt the need to try more.

 

Why do we feel the need to acquire so many carriers we don’t really need? 

 

The myth of the perfect carrier

Somewhere out there is a carrier that will make your 15kg toddler feel weightless on your back.  We have online access to thousands of reviews and recommendations - “You have to try a….”  So we keep buying more, hoping that we will find that babywearing holy grail.

 

Completing the collection

Just as a fanatical collector of stamps or trading cards searches for that last item they need, we believe that we have to try everything, or at least a representational sample from the baby carrier world.  We define ourselves as ‘babywearers’ and feel the need to have the broadest experience in this area possible.

 

Peer pressure

Online babywearing communities tend to be dominated, to varying extents, by gushing comparisons of people’s latest acquisitions.  We have a culture of coveting carriers based on aesthetics and rarity.  It’s easy to feel like you’re not part of the babywearing ‘in-crowd’ or not a ‘real babywearer’ if you don’t have regular ‘fluffy mail’ to show off or can’t contribute to discussions about the latest cool carrier.

 

Status carriers

They’re expensive… but you deserve it, right?  This will be your last baby and she deserves to be snuggled in silk/hemp/moonbeams or whatever…

 

Fear of missing a great deal

You have to try this carrier before the waitlist is two years long or the maker stops doing customs/puts up prices/sells out of that gorgeous fabric.  We have to get that great bargain on FSOT in case it never comes up again.  This is classic shopaholic behaviour, which many of us can identify with to a lesser extent.  FSOT is essentially a list of one-of-a-kind opportunities, so it feeds this compulsion perfectly.

 

The allure of aesthetics

There are so many beautiful fabrics and styles to choose from, and custom carriers available from many manufacturers.  It’s too hard to choose just one…. And anyway, you can never have too many beautiful things, right?

 

Reluctance to get rid of old carriers

We are sentimentally attached to baby things that have snuggled our children and beautiful objects.  We’re afraid to pass on a bargain or hard-to-find carrier in case we regret it.

 

Acceptable indulgence

As parents (mostly mothers) we have pressure on us to meet cultural expectations of being self-sacrificing.  We feel guilty if we spend too much money on ourselves.  Buying carriers is an acceptable way of indulging ourselves.  It’s for the baby!  It’s also a lot easier than buying clothes, and carriers are much more likely to fit.

 

 

So what’s the problem?  You can afford it, and it’s your hobby, right?

 

The problem is that it’s often unsatisfying.  Just read the messages in any FSOT forum - everyone seems to be worrying about missing a great deal or being tempted by a great deal or a new release; or planning how to explain the latest purchase to their partner.  And if you buy new carriers for any of the reasons above, you will never feel that you have enough - it’s a bottomless void to fill.

 

How much time and energy do you spend thinking about or researching new carriers, how to fund them, where to buy them and which custom fabric to get?  Of course, you can always sell the carriers again, but how much more time will you spend taking and uploading photos, tracking and answering email and pm’s and going to the post office?

 

It’s time you could be spending on so many other things.

 

 

 

A sudden (serious) illness hit us a few weeks ago and there were several things I was really glad I’d had the forethought (for once!) to have at home, so I’m sharing. It was a very high fever, sudden in onset and it turned my go-getting three year old into an almost unresponsive zombie until we managed to get the fever down. Once it did go down, however, he went back to his usual rambunctious self quickly enough!

 

These are the items I was really glad to have on hand:

• A reliable thermometer. In my experience as a parent, the “Mum thermometer” (skin to skin contact of some kind) has been invaluable, however there are times when you want to know exactly what’s going on with the numbers. Some people find the digital thermometers more accurate, others prefer the quicker (sometimes less accurate) infra-red ear thermometers. There’s no right choice, just whichever works best for your family.
• Suitable pain and fever relief. The choices vary for each family, but I was glad I had something on hand to give him once the fever spiked. Our particular choice from the pharmacopia proved to be extremely effective.
• Rehydrating fluids. When we were kids, flat lemonade was what we had when sick. That said, there’s a lot of sugar in it and it’s not particularly effective at rehydrating a sick child. Some people prefer a commercial preparation and this was my particular choice. I have some prepared as iceblocks- a child who is too sick to drink may just suck on an iceblock! This had the double effect of helping to bring the fever down. Other people prefer something home made, but when a child is sick and dehydrated, getting fluids into them anyway you can is the best plan.
• A GP I trust. It was a weekend and if we needed medical attention, it would have been a trip to the emergency room, however, we have a GP I trust explicitly. She’s far more mainstream than I am, but she tells it how she sees it and she tells me WHY she sees it that way. It took us a long time to find one as good as her, and if I can help it, we’re going to be frequent fliers at her office for a long, long time to come.
• Breasts. He’s three, he doesn’t breastfeed much any more. But when he was practically unresponsive except to cry miserably, it was nice to have a way to comfort him. And to know that there was at least one way to get some fluids into him. That just so happened to carry antibodies to the very bug he was fighting. Extended breastfeeding has been a difficult enterprise at times. I’ve often wished weaning would arrive YESTERDAY. On this day, I was really glad it hadn’t.
• A sling. Obviously. My three year old opted for couch snuggles, but I was ready just in case I could squeeze some in with the wrap. See Georgie’s post on why babywearing seems to ease a sick child’s discomfort.

The pain relief was effective, the fever went down. By the time his Grandfather walked in the door bearing lunch, he was perked up enough to jump into his arms and then scoff down a large plateful. I was worried for a while there, though, and I’m glad I had these things on hand.

 

What’s in your medicine chest? What do you keep on hand for sick kids? Are yours sling-kids when sick or do they prefer to snuggle in arms on the couch? Leave a comment and let us know!

Tags: breastfeeding, grandparents, sick kids