You have a beautiful baby. The vomit is less beautiful and the screaming is positively mind-blowing. What do you do? Wear the baby.

Babywearing can assist you to parent your infant with reflux. This post will cover different positions that are useful for the baby with reflux. It will also show you some ways to wear your baby now, even if you haven’t got a carrier yet. If you’ve been directed here by a well meaning friend that can see the desperation in your eyes, this is the post for you!

Why does babywearing help a baby with reflux?

Anyone who has ever cared for a baby with reflux knows that an upright baby is a much happier baby. In our daughter’s case, she wanted to be held upright almost from the moment she was born. Holding the reflux baby in an upright position reduces the amount of vomiting and can help keep acid out of a suffering baby’s throat. Up until your arms fall off with exhaustion, that is.

Enter babywearing. Just about every carrier allows you to hold your baby in an upright position and in my personal experience, my reflux baby was far more settled in a sling than in any other position. Backcarrying my newborn was also a lifesaver.  When wrapping, the secured high back carry or ruck are two back carries many people find useful with a reflux baby. Here we are in a self-portrait of a ruck at two months old (no one else was around to take photographs for me!):

If back-carrying is too daunting for you at this point, other wrap carries you can try are the Front Wrap Cross Carry (FWCC), Front Cross Carry (FCC- this one is a little cooler), the kangaroo carry, rebozo carry tummy to tummy or the short cross carry variation. Here we are at two months old in the FCC:

A mei tai is also excellent for front carries with an infant, however, some mei tais can be very large on a very small baby. Froggying the legs of the baby, rolling the mei tai from the bottom and supporting the baby’s head with a towel are all ways of accomodating a small baby in a mei tai.

A ring sling in the tummy to tummy position is another great way to easily carry a newborn with reflux. My daughter spent the first two weeks of her life like this and was happiest when tucked up in the sling. Here we all are getting to know one another on the first day home from hospital:

Another way some babies find relief is breastfeeding. If your baby likes to comfort suck as a means of relief, then breastfeeding hands free may just save your sanity. If your baby has reflux, then it’s often beneficial to breastfeed in an upright position.

Depending on the age of your child and his/her head control, it’s possible to do this in a ringsling (a low tummy to tummy), mei tai (low front carry) or wrap (a low front cross carry is very easy, but it can also be done in a rebozo the same way as in a ring sling). Of course, these positions also work well whether or not the baby is actively feeding, however for comfort, you may wish to tie them higher on your body once baby is done.

If your baby has reflux and it’s been a week since you’ve last showered, for three days you’ve eaten nothing but jam sandwiches, you can’t remember when you got two hours of uninterrupted sleep and the crying has gone on since the dawn of time, then you don’t want to wait to start babywearing. It’s all very well and good to go and buy a carrier (here’s a good start to choosing the right one for you), but it won’t be with you instantly- and you need help now!

That’s OK. Start babywearing NOW. Do you have a shawl? Wonderful. Old sheets lying around at home? Perfect. Tablecloth from your grandmother? Great. There are four things you need to look for when rummaging through your closet:

1. Can this fabric hold my baby safely?
2. Is this fabric breatheable?
3. Will it hold a knot? (Not too slippery)
4. Is it washable?

If you have a baby with reflux, you do not need an explanation of the last point. A good explanation of improvised carriers can be found here. Our good friends at Magic City Slingers have an excellent video of how to use a twin bedsheet as a baby carrier that ought to keep you going until your chosen carrier arrives. Making your own wrap is also a possibility if you can get to a fabric store.  Sewing isn’t necessary.

If you are wearing a newborn baby, or any baby at all, please bear in mind some simple safety precautions. Also, please bear your own mental health in mind when dealing with this highly stressful situation and know that there is help available if you need it.

It will end. I promise. But can someone tell me when?

 Further Resources for the Infant with Reflux:

• Karitane’s brochure on infants with reflux.

What’s your experience with infant reflux been? What helped you and your baby survive this time? When did it end for you?

It happens to all of them, sooner or later. The reasons are many and varied: a crowded supermarket, a big family function full of adoring relatives, one too many cupcakes. Whatever the cause, when your toddler melts down in public it’s difficult to know what to do. Often, you will wish to remove the distressed child from the scene ASAP, but when 15 kilograms of screaming muscle is fighting you every step of the way, it’s difficult. When you have other children, items that need carrying or a long way to walk it becomes impossible.

Enter the strap carry. If you’ve never done one before, the strap carry is much like a ruck, but without rails. It could conceivably be done with any piece of flexible material that can carry your child’s weight. You can find instructions on how to do the strap carry here. When using this carry with an uncooperative child, I recommend a short wrap, long enough to cross between the legs and tie in front, but use whatever you’ve got on hand!

The beauty of this carry in a difficult situation is that there are no rails to adjust, making the carry extraordinarily quick to tie. It’s also very secure. My 14kg almost-three year old has spent considerable periods “testing” the strap carry and this carry and he hasn’t gotten the best of it yet.

So, next time your toddler is melting down and you know you simply can’t get him or her up into a ruck safely, think about the strap carry. It’s simple, effective and very easy to use even in adverse circumstances.

What do you do when your toddler melts down? Is babywearing a part of your parenting toolbox in this situation? What strategies work for you? Leave a comment and maybe we can all troubleshoot this stage together!

There’s a lot of things KMart are good at. Making commonly used products available to the masses at an affordable price pretty much sums it up. So if baby slings are so great, why can’t we get more of them in big department stores?

First of all, the benefits of babywearing are still not known or understood well enough. If all parents knew they could add a sling to their parenting toolbox to settle cranky babies, help with bonding and reduce PND, and get out and about with the hassle of a bulky stroller, you can bet that babywearing would be more popular. But the fact is, many parents just don’t know of any reason to use a sling other than keeping their hands free for a quick trip to the shops. So the department stores offer them carriers that meet that limited need at a price their customers are prepared to pay.

Second, the mass manufacturing method works against quality baby slings. I won’t even start on the CPSIA regulations in the USA, although this will have an effect in future on the Australian market, simply because so many of our products are based on their US marketability. For a product to be sold in big department stores, it needs to be available in large quantities at short notice. When a store wants another fifty slings, they will order them for delivery within a couple of days. Multiply that by the number of stores in any given chain (KMart has 182 stores in Australia and New Zealand), and it’s easy to see why big department stores require mass-manufactured products. There are implications for fair working conditions and quality control that can be daunting for designers considering the move to factory production. For a handmade product to get into the mass-manufactured market-space, they need to establish brand reputation and popularity in the boutique market, providing the designer with the cash to contract a factory to manufacture their product (the standard factory minimum is 10,000 per colourway). Brand reputation and popularity also convinces the big stores that the product is worth adding to the inventory. And this popularity is the tricky bit…

You see, there’s no one carrier that is perfect for everyone. Some people prefer the quick learning curve of a soft structured carrier, or a stretchy wrap. Others go for the quick on-off in a sized pouch, with no adjustment required. The versatility of wraps is perfection for some, while for others ring slings are the perfect compromise between flexible fit and quick on-off. With so many different body shapes and babywearing needs, it’s just not possible to find a single carrier that perfectly suits hundreds of thousands of users. Nor should we try to please all of the people, all of the time.

One of the biggest benefits of small production runs or handmade is the ability to respond quickly to consumer demand. More colourways, or prints that change with the seasons; pouches in five different sizes instead of just three; the ability to produce custom or semi-custom slings to suit individual needs.

Instead, we have the best of both worlds available to us: a wide variety of handmade, boutique-style slings to perfectly suit everyone; and a limited selection of mass-manufactured carriers to suit the budget and babywearing needs of those who are happy to compromise for budget or availability reasons. What we need to do is increase awareness of the benefits of babywearing, as well as increasing awareness of the handmade marketplace. Parents will better understand what to look for in a sling and its potential in their parenting toolbox. With increasing demand for quality slings from educated parents, the small independent boutiques will quickly respond with a wider range. So the end result is better support for a wider range of slings - something for everyone.

Earlier, we discussed Post Natal Depression and Babywearing generally. Here, we bring you ButterflyMama’s experience:

I used babywearing to help me overcome my Post Natal Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after Miss S’s nightmare hospital induction.

Truth be told I did not want her anywhere near me - had major connection/attachment issues. I had this child ripped from my body and then it would scream for me to meet its every need - most of which of my own were not even being met, because it was too difficult for me to even comprehend. For the first six months of Miss S’s life all I (barely) managed was getting up out of bed, putting on some sort of clothing, sculling coffee as fast as I could and putting on the brave poker face; I was very good at that, though. It’s amazing how easy it is to smile and pretend everything is OK when it’s not, because people expect it. PND is such a taboo subject - heaven forbid the mother of a newborn child is not totally and utterly in love with him/her and gushing to every single person she meets!

I had bought the Ergo with infant insert while pregnant after researching thoroughly and deciding it would be most likely to suit my needs - crook neck, best for bubs spinal development as compared to the Bjorn. When Miss S was 6 days old, the day after we got home from hospital, I had been crying all day long (for no *apparent* reason) and on the suggestion of the midwife that came to visit, I popped her into my “sling”. I didn’t want her near me, I didn’t want to be in such close earshot to her piercing newborn cries let alone feel her weight against me. But I did, and from that day onwards I wore her every day. We didn’t have an instant bond, Miss S and me, we had to work on it very hard. We almost had to do what I would describe as “forced parent/child attachment”. She began to have her biggest day sleeps on me and although I would hesitate to admit it, I began to really look forward to them. By about the six months of age point, we were fully fledged babywearers and I knew that on the days where I felt the worst, the best therapy (combined with CBT, exposure therapy and medication) was to have my daughter close.

I guess the rest is history. Miss S and I had to really work at our relationship to be what it is now and I can say that babywearing, although I hated it at first, had a massive hand at improving our relationship - and still does, every day. PND is such a hard thing to battle and although I think I am mainly “OK” now with regards to it, I still have my crap days and know that babywearing even a little helps, for “compulsory cuddles” (where she has no choice but be close to me even when she is, at 21 months of age, chucking darkies left right and centre). I think my daughter caught my fiery nature, poor thing, genetics can be so harsh.

I extend my support and understanding, empathy and frustration to those experiencing PND currently. It is a dark world in which it can be all-consuming, I know exactly what that is like. There seems to be no way out, but there is. So hang in there.

Thanks to ButterflyMama for sharing her story. For many of us, including myself, it’s comforting to know that someone else has made it out of the blackhole. Have you experienced Post Natal Depression? Did it follow from a traumatic birth experience like ButterflyMama? How did you get through it? Leave a comment and share with us.

The first in a series of posts focusing on things that you really, really need to know but never thought to ask; we bring you the basics on babywearing during and after a zombie apocalypse.

I used to think that the most important protection I could ever give my children was love (you’ve read Harry Potter, right?). Or possibly good nutrition (you’ve read Rosemary Stanton, right?). I was wrong. It’s babywearing.

The zombie apocalypse is a fait accompli. Others have made some excellent suggestions about why babywearing is vital in the face of the apocalypse,  but this post seeks to enlighten you, the responsible babywearer, about what you need to know when that time comes. We will cover three important topics in this post: optimal stash selection for the apocalypse and beyond, apocalypse preparation and making do in the world of tomorrow.

Optimal stash selection for the apocalypse

One thing is vitally important to note come the apocalypse: FSOT will be the first societal convention to collapse. That pamir or silk nino you’ve been so carefully hoarding will have no value whatsoever, except in the way you can use it. Hence damaging an expensive carrier is no longer a problem, so long as it is functional. You need carriers that are tough, durable, flexible and able to withstand both growing children and hordes of salivating revanants.

Ideally, you will have prepared in advance for the apocalypse and will be an accomplished babywearer in all fields: mei tais, SSCs, ring slings and wraps. Your personal taste should be accounted for, but it is worthwhile stepping out of your comfort zone to other carriers in order to be fully prepared for the apocalypse. Bear in mind that your apocalyptic stash should be small, as you will be unlikely to be able to carry large numbers of carriers in addition to zombie fighting equipment and children.

Some points worth noting when building a stash worthy of the apocalypse:

• You will need to keep your own and your wearee’s visibility to a minimum. Bright splashes of cerise are unlikely to contribute to your overall protective camouflage. However, there ought to be plenty of natural dyes around during the apocalypse which will decrease your visibility (i.e. there’s going to be a lot of dirt during the apocalypse, that’s one thing I’m sure of).
• Since invariably whatever vehicle one is travelling in will break down/be broken down by zombies, fleeing the undead will take some serious walking/running. You will need supportive fabrics, designs and weaves. You will be wearing these carriers for a long time to come and will need to do some very strenuous activities while wearing them (fighting off zombies while bouncing a toddler to sleep for a start). As a result, you may experience considerable wear and tear on your carrier in addition to an awesome workout. Use the stroller to carry essential supplies. In case of direct attack, abandon the stroller and still have your wearee(s) attached to you for a quick escape.
• Bear in mind that flame is a traditional method of fighting zombies. Fabrics with fire retardant properties such as wool will be a significant advantage for the safety of your wearee.
• It is traditional for zomebies to attack either in the northern hemisphere where it’s always cold or during a cold spell. I think this is to minimise decomposition of the undead. So it is unlikely you will need to choose carriers in order to avoid heat stroke. However, since one is always displaced from the home and, indeed, shelter in such situations, bear this in mind when choosing carrier type and fabric. For example, a Vatanai wrap would be excellent for a desert trip to a volcano to destroy any magic rings that may need disposal, however it would not be as warm or supportive as, say, a storchenwiege during the cold nights of a zombie apocalypse.

Apocalypse preparation

It’s no good obtaining a suitable apocalyptic stash if you dash out to the post office to send off a traded carrier and find yourself without a sling on the morning of the apocalypse. You need to be prepared at all times.

Wherever you go, make sure you have the most important elements of your apocalyptic stash, however you have identified them. Whether or not that’s your size three wrap or your trusty Kozy, have one with you at all times, either on you, in the car or stashed into the daycare bag. You can also have food, warm clothing and such if you really feel it’s necessary for survival.

Making do in the world of tomorrow

Eventually, even the hardest-wearing pikkolo may get a hole in it, or more likely, after wearing it for 469 days straight, you may feel like a change. Alternatively, you may need to use it to anchor a boat or something. What are you going to use to carry your kid?

Unfortunately, during and after the apocalypse, it’s likely that internet access is going to be very sketchy for most people and supportive forums such as Baby Carriers Downunder may not be running at optimum capacity for advice and advocacy. You need to be aware of alternatives to standard babycarriers before the apocalypse.

Here are some links to illustrate common, everyday items that can be used in place of babycarriers:

• a bedsheet works well as a short wrap
• a towel is also suitable and has numerous other uses, as detailed by Douglas Adams (thanks to a BCD member for pointing this out!)
• the mamatoto project has some excellent videos on making do in an emergency. They’re not expecting an apocalypse, but the same ideas apply.

Conclusion

The zombie apocalypse is coming. You need to be prepared. I hope that this post has informed you of some of the choices you will need to make in the meantime.

Further zombie related resources

• Zombiesarecoming.com
• Zombie Survival and Defense wiki

What emergency are you preparing for? Are you ready for aliens to attack? Vampires? Werewolves? Preparing for a flock of penguins to launch a flotilla from Phillip Island with the intent to conquer the mainland? Leave a comment and share your own brand of insanity!

Many toddlers go through an independent phase when they don’t want to be worn at all, or only in certain carriers/carries. Emmy became very resistant to back carries at about 20 months and would scream and struggle if I tried to put her on my back. Here are few tips to get you through this phase with your sanity intact.

These strategies are just what worked for us…. Please share any other ideas that helped you!