When I bought my first sling, I only needed the one. Then I needed a more comfortable one. Then the baby got a little bigger and there was another one. Then I realized I could sew them. Then I decided that I needed to learn how to wrap. Then I needed something with more support than a SPOC. Soon, I needed more support than the non-GSW I had, then more support than the cotton wrap I had. Got anything more supportive?

In the course of my BWing development, I’ve made a few blunders, bought a few things ill-advisedly and generally accumulated too much stuff. Admittedly, FSOT is handy for sending things on, but don’t let the enthusiasts fool you- buying something just because you’re told it will “hold its value” is not a good idea. Some things do resell quicker than others, but you’ll nearly always make some sort of a loss. In a falling market you may make a considerable loss on an expensive sling. And then there’s postage. Let’s not talk about postage across the Pacific!

Eventually, I landed upon the idea of a stash strategy. I have a strategy- a vision of the stash I want and need. I stick to that strategy and, no matter how tempting, I don’t buy anything that doesn’t conform to the strategy. In the long run, I’ll save money, closet space and hours in wasted time and fluids drooling in FSOT listings.

My particular strategy is simple: anything that comes into the house must be usable for both my toddler (almost three), infant (nearly six months) and any other newborns that may arrive (unexpectedly). I don’t do much in the way of handwashing, so the carriers ought to be fairly hardy. I don’t like to treat wraps gently or worry about them, so they can’t be so expensive that I won’t be able to shrug it off when the kids make a stain. That’s my strategy. Simple enough!

When nesting, for example, I didn’t set out to buy gorgeous carriers, soft and suitable for a newborn. To me, they weren’t worth the investment since it would only be for a few months. I did have a couple of wraps already in the stash I’d been holding onto that were suitable for the baby but not the toddler- but they were rehomed very quickly since invariably the toddler wanted whatever wrap the baby was in. There was no point having carriers I didn’t/couldn’t use.

Some people have a stash strategy that balances hard-nosed common sense with a desire to try different things. Others plan their strategy around the ages and stages of their children- soft, stretchy wrap for the newborn period, heavy duty mei tai for the toddler/older baby stage. Others choose according to their own wardrobe or what visually suit themselves or their children. To some people the gender of their children and the colour of their carriers matter, to others not. There are no hard and fast rules except one: it’s your stash so you decide.

Next time you find your keyboard suspiciously wet while checking out FSOT, close your mouth and think. Try and decide how this carrier may fit into the stash that you have and the stash that you want. If you have a stash strategy already in mind, then you’ll find it easier to bring carriers home that you’ll use and love.

What’s your stash strategy? Do you have one? Leave a comment and let us all in on it!

As parents, it is so difficult to see our little ones sick. We try to ease the suffering as best we can, but sometimes it seems there isn’t much we can do.

Last week, my little Miss E., who is seven months old, was unwell. Nothing alarming, just a run-of-the-mill virus – high fevers, a bit of vomiting, loss of appetite and just general malaise. Being that she is my third child, I didn’t rush to the doctor right away (anyone seen that circulating email about birth order and how third children end up eating off the floor? It’s pretty much true in our house), but I did end up taking her eventually, when the fevers had been going on long enough to concern me a little. “Oh, goodness,” the doctor exclaimed when he looked at Miss E.’s throat, “that’s quite inflamed. She must have been suffering!”

“Suffering?” I thought. Well, not really, not that I noticed. We have been having lots of snuggles, but she hasn’t been too upset as long as she’s being carried.

And then I realised how much I love babywearing when my babies are sick. They need cuddles; I need to take care of my other children, do a smidgen of housework (I’m not Super Mum, but we do need clean underwear), and possibly even drink a cup of coffee.

When they are older, wearing them when they’re feeling poorly almost becomes a guilty pleasure. Guilty because of course I don’t want my children to be ill! But it is lovely to get those cuddles from a toddler who is usually tearing around at 100 miles an hour.

While in general I prefer two-shouldered carriers, I really find a hip carry is perfect for a sick baby or toddler wanting snuggles. Here is Miss E. in our pouch, suffering less than she may otherwise have:

Just one tip: put the silk carriers away until sick baby stops vomiting. I won’t tell you whether or not I learned this the hard way.

Do you wear your baby more than usual when he/she is sick? Share your favourite carries or tips.

Another in our posts on wearing two, this time we dial down the oestrogen and get a Dad’s perspective! For other posts on wearing two, see Ruby’s post on getting started with twins, Sarah’s post on wearing two with mei tais and SSCs and Steph’s post on wrapping two at once.

Consider this scenario: your wife had go away suddenly due to an emergency, leaving you home alone with your cranky toddler and even-crankier baby who’s due for a nap. You can:

(a) put them in a double pram (if you have one) and take them for a walk outside, hoping the fresh air will calm them down,

(b) try to put the baby to sleep and hope the toddler will calm himself down,

(c) try to carry both in your arms (good luck with that for more than a few seconds!), or

(d) wear the baby to sleep AND wear the toddler to calm him down.

Tandem babywearing is really not as hard as it looks. If you think of it as a form of exercise, it works those upper body muscles quite effectively. And of course you can actually do other stuff while wearing two, like play your favourite video game, go for a walk (be prepared for swarms of adoring women), or weed that garden like you’ve been promising the wife for months.

In addition to excellent front and back carry tips in Sarah’s previous tandem carry post, you can also wear your sleeping newborn/infant in a ring sling and your toddler in a structured hip carrier where most of your toddler’s weight rests on the waist band. I find this comfortable even for quite a long period (at least long enough for said cranky toddler to calm down).

Lastly, as Steph’s wrapping two post showed, a long woven wrap (or two) can also be used effectively to carry both your sleeping infant and your curious toddler. If you are using two wraps, make sure to tie the baby in one securely first before using the other wrap to tying your toddler on your back as you need to bend down while doing the latter. A quick back carry like rucksack is usually best for this purpose, but make sure you tuck enough fabric under your toddler’s bum to prevent the dreaded bum-popping.

I hope this gives some incentive for the babywearing dads out there to give tandem carry a try, either with your twins or your baby and toddler. Good luck and let us know how you go!

Are you a babywearing dad? Have you tried tandem carry before? Leave a comment and let us know your experience!

Asian-style Baby Carriers, that is. When I think of ABCs, I automatically think of the Mei Tai. Made popular by the Nursing Mothers Assocation (now known as the Australian Breastfeeding Assocation) in the 1960’s, the Mei Tai is traditionally used in China to carry babies on front or back. Mei Tais as we now use them in the Western world are a little different to the traditional Chinese style, but the principle is the same: get that baby onto your body and everyone will feel better.

A traditional style homemade Mei Tai

Traditional Mei Tais have a square body. The body, or blanket, is the piece of cloth that holds the baby’s body. Most Mei Tais available in Australia and the USA have a rectangular body, which I find better suited to carrying larger babies who need more support behind their back. The other key difference I’ve noticed between the traditional and modern Australian Mei Tais is strap length and width. Longer, wider straps make it easier to tie in different ways, and to spread weight more evenly over the shoulders. Traditionally, Mei Tai straps weren’t tied at all – just twisted and tucked in. Although I understand the theory that tucking in is fine, I can’t bring myself to put my baby’s weight on something that isn’t tied – so long straps are great for me.

A commercially produced modern Mei Tai

My mother in law introduced me to Mei Tais when I was pregnant. She makes her own, and they’re a very traditional cut. I’ve noticed that she is more comfortable wearing hers loose and low, tying the short shoulder straps to the waist straps. I like to keep baby’s weight higher and closer to my body to prevent gravity dragging them down, and cross the shoulder straps behind my back before tying a knot behind baby’s back. But I don’t doubt the safety or effectiveness of her style. After all, she had four babies  in less than eight years, and she’s got no back problems from carrying them. And I’ve noticed my babies love being carried by her too.

Which goes to the basic principle of a quality baby carrier: flexibility. You want a carrier that can be worn to suit your preference, not a carrier where you have to change your preferences to suit the only way the carrier can be used.

Are you a Mei Tai lover? Have you tried other Asian-style Baby Carriers (ABCs)? Leave a comment and let us know!

Steph’s recent post on tummy-time mentions the increasing incidence of plagiocephaly - literally, a misshapen skull. One reason for the rise is certainly the increased numbers of babies sleeping on their back, which is recommended as being the safest way for babies to sleep, avoiding SIDS.

However, there are other causes of plagiocephaly, including craniosynostosis, which is caused by the premature fusion of sutures (joins) in the skull plates. This was our experience with our second born…

I wanted to share our experience on the off-chance it may be meaningful to another family. The incidence of craniosynostosis in Australia is about 1 in 2500 births. Our surgeon has told us that the majority of cases have no known cause (although some do have associated syndromes, our son did not), and that the fusion occurs during the second trimester of pregnancy. I should point out that I am a mum with no medical background.

We noticed the shape of our son’s head as being ‘different’ within hours of his birth. Initially, I was told it was swelling from moulding during labour; but basically, from the day he was born, he looked slightly asymmetrical. Not unattractive but just a bit skewed. Some days it was more pronounced than other days, and looking at photos, it always seemed more noticeable. He had one eye which looked more swollen/closed than the other, and as the months progressed, his face really started to contort to a C shape. I have been told that you will see it a lot more clearly in a mirror or in photos.

Over the first 6 months of his life, I asked questions of my midwife, saw a cranial osteopath, and spoke to other parents. It wasn’t until he was 6 months old and three people commented on his noggin within a week that I really pushed my GP for a paediatricians referral. I waited a couple of weeks for a paeds appointment and I went to see them when my son was 6 1/2 months old, had plain x-rays taken that day, and within two days he was diagnosed with cranio. Until then, I had only read about positional plagio, and hadn’t realised there was a difference. We went to see the Australian Cranio Facial Unit within 2 weeks, had CT scans and some other assessment, and had surgery in September. Everything moved pretty quickly after the diagnosis.

Positional plagiocephaly (caused by sleeping in one spot etc) is different to craniosynostosis, and its treatment is different. Craniosynostosis is treated surgically. My son had unilateral coronal cranio; he had cranial vault remodelling (CVR) in September 2006. As at March 2009, he is 38 months old, 28 months post surgery, healthy, strong and attractive, with a scar mostly hidden by his hair.

I’m not an expert, but if you have any concerns about the shape of your child’s head, I would recommend getting a referral to a paediatrician. My GP did not think there was a problem with my son, and no one else ever picked up on it either. My son was almost 7 months old when diagnosed, which is considered pretty late (very late?) - it is certainly better if it is picked up earlier. If you feel there’s a problem, don’t stop looking for answers until you are satisfied.

I would be happy for you to contact me - leave a message below! - if you’re facing a cranio diagnosis.

Of course, a post about baby wearing while in the hospital is sure to follow. As are posts about baby wearing in a new city; while travelling to and from interstate medical appointments; while doing laundry in short-term accommodation… you name it, a medical condition can make a difference to where you’re carrying your baby geographically, but you always wear your baby in exactly the same place: close to someone who loves him.

Resources:

Further information on craniosyntosis.

Have you faced a diagnosis of either plagiocephaly or craniosynostosis? Were you aware of the difference? Do you need to connect with someone who’s faced this diagnosis? Do you know someone else who does? Leave a comment. You’re not alone!

Another post in our series on wearing two. This time Steph looks at wrapping a toddler and a baby at the same time in a wrap. The same carries apply to wearing twins. Previous posts on wearing two include Ruby’s post on how to get started wearing two and Sarah’s post on how she wears her toddler and infant in a Mei Tai and SSC combination.

When my younger child was born, my eldest was 2.5 years old. It quickly became apparent that with a newborn and a toddler making a tough transition, wearing them both was one way to keep everyone happy.

I prefer to wrap my kids in the same wrap at once. The advantage of this is that there’s less material involved than trying to wrap them in separate wraps. The disadvantage is that if the one on the back (the bigger child) wants to get down, they both have to come down.

I need at least 4.5m to wear both kids at once. In this size wrap, I can ruck the big one, cross beneath the legs and do a tibetan finish, leave the tibetan finish loose and pop the little one in the FCC (Front Cross Carry) this makes, tie behind the little one’s back. When my younger child was a newborn, this carry was problematic at times because she didn’t have the kind of head support I’d have liked. You can find video instruction on this carry with newborns here and the technique is the same with older children.

If you have a longer wrap (say, 5m+), then you can BWCC (Back Wrap Cross Carry) with ruck straps the bigger child and finish the same way for the little one with greater support. The three passes would give you more support with the bigger child. You can find video instruction of this carry here. A variation is to use a chestbelt rather than ruck straps with the BWCC.

Another possibility, which I have not seen and don’t have a wrap long enough to try; would be the chunei back carry (or double hammock back carry) with ruck straps, crossed between the back child’s legs and bought up in front for a tibetan finish. The smaller child then sits in the cross of the tibetan finish. I’m shopping for a long wrap just so I can try this and see if it works! (Leave a comment if you’ve had a chance to try this. Please?) I suspect it will work well because the heavier child’s weight will be distributed across the entire chest of the wearer, rather than on the shoulders. The latter point being a significant problem in my experience of wearing two as the weight becomes significant. I wouldn’t recommend this for very hot weather, however!

If you have two wraps, then I find BWCC and FCC in separate wraps -wrapping the big one on your back through the pretied (empty) FCC another way to carry two. This leaves you with about 9 meters of material wrapped around you, so you want to do this with THIN wraps! Basically, I pretie the FCC and then get big one on my back in a BWCC with crossed straps in front, passing them through the crosses of the FCC to sit directly on my chest. You could also do this with chestbelt, but I think this is a smoother finish for the little one in front. The advantage of this over ruck straps on the BWCC is that your chest is supporting alot of the weight of the big one and the rest is being passed through shoulders and down to the hips. I find the FCC rides up on the shoulders to the neck this way (there’s only so much room on your shoulders to fit all this material) but when your front wearee is still small, this is fine. Using this method, the two wrapees are semi-independent. It’s possible to remove one without removing the other, although getting the one off the back without waking the one in the FCC would be tricky, but you would not need to remove the front carry.

For very small babies, I prefer to carry both kids in this way as I don’t have to preload the smaller one and bend forward with the baby in the front. As the baby gets older, I find this less problematic.

Troubleshooting:

(1) When wearing two in one wrap, the more supportive the better, but you’re carrying two kids and don’t want to get too hot. Without wanting to add to the “silk hysteria”, compared to my all cotton vatanais, my silk indio is a better bet. That said, I have successfully worn two in a vatanai for a considerable length of time. So although you’re better off with a supportive wrap (say, a storch), I don’t think you need special equipment per se (like pamir) to do this.

(2) Supportive shoes are a must. My kids are about 20kg of combined weight and when walking for an hour or more, good shoes are awesome. That said, I wore the two of them in one wrap in heels at a wedding once for an extended period, so needs must. I did kick my shoes off ASAP though!

(3) Bend from the knees, but getting up ain’t easy

Further resources for wearing two:

• TheBabywearer’s Wearing More Than One forum is excellent for troubleshooting and ideas
• The BCD Wearing Twins and Multiples page has a broad variety of personal information, articles and links

Do you carry two? What combinations work for keeping your household happy?