Women have been under-represented in Australian political life since Federation in 1901. Not only in the numbers of women in Parliament, but also in making their voices heard. Women don’t have the financial clout to lobby parties, as business leaders do. Simply attending a protest rally is difficult when you have small children to care for. But I attended a rally today, made possible only because my little boy could chill out in a carrier, despite the wind and on-again-off-again rain. We were outside the National Press Club, while Prime Minister Julia Gillard was inside addressing the media. This isn’t a political blog, so I won’t be discussing the politics of the rally. But I do have a few observations about babywearing and its place in our democracy.

I’ve been attending rallies for about 15 years now, for various reasons. And in the last couple of years, there’s been a noticeable increase in the number of mums with babies at the rallies I’ve been to. It’s much easier to hold up placards or participate in public walks with the kids tied onto you, and no worries about them running onto the road or being upset by all the loud chanting. Plus protest rallies become a social event, almost like a mother’s group for the politically active.

Whether the rally is for parenting issues, or totally unrelated issues, mums and dads are taking up their right to have a say in how the country is run. And it’s a good thing for democracy, simply because it enables a more diverse range of views to be heard. It means we’re also hearing from a sector of the community who are preoccupied with nurturing, caring, and gentle behaviours and roles. Quite a contrast with the business sector who dominate paid political advertising, younger revolutionary activists, and trade unionists whose protests tend to be more active, loud, or aggressive than the protests organised by a bunch of babywearing mums. Not that there’s anything wrong with being politically aggressive - I just enjoy seeing diversity in the way we express our views.

The comments from non-babywearers show that our passive, peaceful forms of protest are making an impact, too. While not everyone knows the right terms (I’ve had a TV cameraman refer to my ring sling as a shawl), they know it’s all about looking after the child’s needs. I’ve had comments about how effective my gentle tone of voice was when speaking to a packed hall with sleeping newborn in a FWCC (front wrap cross carry), and “oohs” over my sleepy three year old in a SSC (soft structured carrier) from the Federal Police detective at this morning’s rally.

Oh, and the babywearer-spotter’s roundup at today’s event: a gorgeous printed cotton ring sling, another very elegant neutral toned plain cotton ring sling, and lots of SSCs in various colours and prints. Didn’t spot any mei tais or pouches, and I vaguely recall a stretchy wrap but could have been wrong. Only saw two prams (one was a double for twins). Still, that’s a pretty high percentage of babywearers for a rally of about 35 women!

Happy World Breastfeeding Week! It’s celebrated internationally from 1 to 7 August 2010. Unlike breastfeeding, which is something normally done by the mother, babywearing can be done by anyone - breastfeeding or not. But one of the many cool things about carrying a baby in a traditional-style sling or carrier is that it can make breastfeeding easier.

You can use your sling or carrier to support baby for hands-free breastfeeding. We’ve blogged here in the past about how best to breastfeed in a long wrap, mei tai, and in a ring sling.  As a retail shop owner, I’ve helped many mums of newborns with getting baby in the right position to breastfeed hands-free, and some of them have come back later to tell me how it helped their posture (reducing back pain from leaning over while breastfeeding) or made it easier to chase a toddler while feeding the baby.

Another benefit of babywearing is that all the skin contact helps get the hormones working properly. Skin contact prompts oxytocin, which prompts milk in the breast to flow, which prompts prolactin to make more milk. A beautiful supply-and-demand cycle.

My second baby also benefited from babywearing to support breastfeeding when being worn by a child-care worker. She was an extreme bottle refuser who would rather starve to death than take liquid from any form of cup or bottle til she was about nine months old. So when she was five months old and I returned to work, I drove from work to the childcare centre to feed her in my lunch break. Sometimes she would be hungry before I arrived, but there was nothing they could do to feed her until I got there. Enter babywearing! Many times I would arrive to feed my baby, expecting to find her distressed and starving, only to see that she was chilled out and happy in the sling that I had left with her carer (a twenty-something rugby-fan bloke). In an ideal world, she wouldn’t have had to wait. But in this imperfect world we live in, keeping her calm made it much easier for her carer to attend to the other babies in the room, and made it easier for me to get her attached for a proper feed when I arrived. Ever tried to get a cranky baby to latch on properly? Not easy! A calm baby is much easier to feed, in my experience.

There have also been times when breastfeeding was a real struggle for me. Being able to carry my babies and keep them close helped soothe the emotional upset for both of us, making it easier for me to stay positive and keep trying. Without that positive influence, the confidence that I am a capable parent, I might have found it easier to just give up on other aspects of parenting that were difficult.

So thankyou babywearing, for making it easier for to breastfeed my babies.

The Mythical Benefits of Babywearing

 Did you ever read one of those lists about the ‘Benefits of Babywearing’ which tell you that worn babies rarely cry; are happy to hang out in a sling all day while the parent works; and turn into secure, confident, independent, compassionate toddlers?  I have no idea who these children are, but they bear no relation to my kids.   Lists like these are great for encouraging people to wear their babies but can be misleading.

 Like many people, I tend to emphasise certain things when advocating babywearing.  I go on about how convenient it is for the parent and avoid mentioning the benefits for the child’s long-term development.  I know that as soon as I say something about the how it’s good for the child’s emotional wellbeing, my own children will start whining or screaming.  And with a daughter who only walked at seventeen months, I feel that I’m in no position to talk about the way babywearing helps motor skills development.

I can just imagine people thinking, “If that’s how they turn out I’m definitely not trying this baby carrier thing….” And then there are my own doubts… if it really is such a great practice, then why are my kids so rude/clingy/whiny/selfish/sulky/aggressive/uncoordinated….??

Do you really want a ‘good’ child?

Well…. yes I do!  Sometimes I long for a ‘well behaved’ child who does what I say in public and shares her toys… but what kind of children do we really want to raise?  Compliant?  Independent?  Conformist?  Assertive?  Is an unquestioningly compliant child really such a great thing?

We have definite ideas in our culture about what makes a ‘good’ baby or child and babywearing does not always cultivate these characteristics.  Babywearing is not going to give you a baby who sleeps through the night, is happy to be held by anybody and entertains herself for hours on end.  It will foster emotional security, but it won’t make your child do what you say; in fact it may have the opposite effect if she is so secure that she doesn’t feel a desperate need to please you.  It can calm down an angry child, but will not encourage or teach her to repress her emotions to conform to some abstract ideal of good behaviour. 

Are your children as bad as you think they are?

Everyone thinks that their children are the worst they know, if not the worst in the world, barring a few that are featured on Supernanny.  Chances are they’re not.

We often tend to notice negative behaviour in our children; while you may be worrying that your toddler seems overly clingy, another parent may be admiring the way your child relaxes into the security of your back.  That humiliating public tantrum will probably be dismissed as ‘normal three-year-old behaviour’ by anyone with children of their own.

A Zen approach to behaviour management

One of the mothers I admire most is a practising Buddhist.  Her children are as temperamental as any: they can be sullen, rough, clingy, hysterical and rude.  But what sets her apart from other parents I know is her calm acceptance of their behaviour.  No matter what they do, she never appears worked up, upset or embarrassed; and her relaxed vibe is infectious and inspiring.  And yes, she did wear her children!

We often judge ourselves as parents by how our children perform physically, cognitively, verbally, socially or intellectually.  Instead of accepting the moment, we imagine the unsociable behaviour to reflect negatively on all the choices we have made, including babywearing.  It’s not worth worrying about.  Next time your toddler has a public meltdown, just throw her on your back in a strap carry and if that doesn’t impress people…. well, at least you can make a quick getaway.

When you have a child with physical issues that affect their mobility, or a child whose special needs mean they need extra emotional attachment, babywearing can help. No more safety worries for children with mobility issues, you can get things done faster, and the closeness of carrying means emotional needs are met more easily.

The question becomes, what carrier is best suited for babywearing when you’re not wearing a baby?

Most traditional-style baby slings and carriers are designed to carry babies and toddlers. This means they are usually only stress-tested (especially the seams and any rings, buckles, or clips) up to 16-20kg. When carrying an older child, you can expect their weight to be around 20-30kg before it becomes too much.

The best place to start your child carrier search is to look for a style of carrier that wil suit the way you will most often use it. For a child who needs to be carried for long blocks of time, you might want to consider a two-shoulder carrier (like a mei tai or soft structured carrier) and you might also want a padded waist band for extra support. A child who needs to be frequently picked up and put down, but is still quite heavy, might be better suited to a carrier that supports hip carrying positions, such as a ring sling or a specialised soft strucutred hip carrier.

You may also need to consider the sitting position your child prefers. A child in a brace or with low muscle tone may be more comfortable in a specific position when being held, so it’s best to find a carrier that naturally supports that position comfortably for wearer and child, rather than compromising what is most comfortable for the child.

No matter what style of carrier you choose, you’ll be looking for sturdy fabrics. Rather than a mesh or thin cotton sling, you’ll want a thicker cotton or hemp woven fabric, or multiple layers in a mei tai or soft structured carrier. Forget about anything stretchy - some “give” in a woven fabric helps with a good fit over your shoulders and hips, but stretch jersey will just sag and need constant adjusting with a heavy child. When looking at woven wraps, it is well worth investing in a long wrap with proper diagonal give in the weave, rather than just using cheaper woven fabric bought from a fabric supply shop. A long wrap also means you can get more layers of fabric where you most need support.

Once you’ve narrowed down the styles that might suit, start trying on. Contact a local babywearing group, join the Baby Carriers Downunder sling library program to borrow carriers, or visit a shop with a proper fitting service. You may also need to contact the manufacturer of your preferred carriers to check that the carrier construction is sturdy enough for your purpose. The manufacturer can advise what weight they have stress tested for, and how seams are constructed or buckles have been fastened. The members at your local sling group or shop staff may already have the answers to these questions, but it doesn’t hurt to ask the manufacturer as well in case things have changed in their product’s construction recently.

If you’re thinking about carrying a special needs child beyond the usual toddler walking age, I wish you luck and hope you both enjoy the ride. There is nothing quite as nice as being able to meet so many of a child’s needs simply by holding them.

The winter weather has started in Canberra, which means three months of non-stop snot in any household with children. When a toddler or pre-schooler has a lurgy, they’re more likely to want holding. And when all of them have lurgies, you might find yourself short of arms to hold them all. Hence slings are a good idea!

Can’t even tell she’s feeling sick, can you? The combination of cuddles from mum, plus a camera, cheered her up pretty quick.

I prefer a ring sling for situations like this - quick on/off with toddlers who are pick-up-put-down, or if you need a quick escape before they chuck down the front of your top (don’t laugh, I’ve had it happen to me!). Also very machine washable - just pop a sock over the rings to stop them clanking against the side of the washing machine. Also a nice cool sling (well, cooler than putting a feverish kid in a front-wrap-cross-carry in a thick wrap). Especially if you’ve got a mesh sling. And if you do get chuck down your front, just step into the shower - slingling and all - to clean up.

Today was the Inner North Community Fair in Canberra, celebrating the wetlands to be built on Hawdon Oval in Dickson. And it looked almost as much like Babywearer Central as the Homebirth Rally at Parliament House back in September 2009.

Most of what I spotted were SSCs in every colour they’ve ever been made in, one metal-frame backpack, and a few stretchy wraps. But I also saw a pretty woven wrap, a lesser-known SSC brand custom-made to impress the wearer’s teenage son, and a few very funky mei tais. Oh, and the prettiest green hemp silk ring sling in town, with a sleeping toddler boy in it. With the huge number of dogs, bikes, and walking adults, baby carriers were a very sensible choice for walking over the uneven ground, dodging unicorn poo (not your average pony rides), grooving to the funky free music, and checking out all things environmentally sustainable in our local community. Much easier than pushing a pram on the grass, and with built-in sun protection for kids who throw their hats overboard.

But… could babywearers outrun the Daleks? I reckon it’s much easier to run up stairs with your baby in an SSC than a pram, so that’s a yes!