When I first got interested in using baby slings and carriers, I didn’t have any friends nearby who could show me their stash. The only “proper” sling in the local shops was a stretchy wrap that I didn’t think would suit my needs. So I started buying second-hand slings as a way of trying things out without outlaying lots of cash. I’ve lost count of how many second-hand slings I’ve been through over the past three years. Here’s a few of the lessons I learned along the way:

Safety First

If buying in person (eg at a garage sale or market), take a good look at the seams and fabric. You don’t want seams coming apart, or a small hole becoming a big rip, when it’s supporting your baby’s weight. No matter how pretty the fabric, pass on it if there’s any safety concerns. For slings with plastic clips, fasten and unfasten each clip to ensure none are broken. I’ve occasionally seen a plastic clip that looks OK, but doesn’t fit neatly to clip up because one of the prongs is ever so slightly bent. Only takes a minute to check these things out.

Read reviews

When looking at online sale listings, take a few moments to read reviews of both the product and vendor. Start with the manufacturer’s website for details on brand new price, how it works, any past product recalls. Then move on to user community websites like The Babywearer, or Baby Carriers Downunder’s forum, for personal opinions on the product. If buying online, also check the seller’s reputation: eBay or TradeMe rating, The Babywearer feedback, feedback on other online forums that have trading rooms.

Buying at markets or garage sales means decisions are made on-the-spot. It helps to read up on popular brands, so you know what you’re looking at if you come across one in your bargain hunting. You’d be surprised at what you can find at op shops or garage sales and priced well below market average, simply because nobody knows what the thing is worth.

Beware Postage

Shipping a large or heavy item across Australia or internationally can be expensive. I find that postage to New Zealand is about the same as postage to Perth (I’m in Canberra), but postage from the USA or Europe is a killer. Be sure to factor postage costs into the total amount you can afford to pay for the sling.

Ways to Pay

Paypal is an easy and quick way to pay for online purchases, especially internationally where there are hefty bank fees for direct deposit to overseas accounts. There’s also some level of buyer protection for Paypal transactions. Sometimes you can swap a sling you’re not using for one you think you will use - check out the FSOT (For Sale Or Trade) listings on The Babywearer or Baby Carriers Downunder.

Not sure?

If you’re not sure whether a particular sling will suit you, talk to the seller about a return policy. If you know the seller well, they may be happy to let you try it out before buying it, provided you’re willing to pay the postage costs (eg pop a replacement prepaid satchel in when you return the sling if it doesn’t suit). Most times I didn’t know the seller, so returns weren’t an option. Because of this, I factored in reselling possibilities when deciding how much I could afford to pay for the sling. I wouldn’t pay more than what seemed to be market average, so that I wouldn’t lose more than postage costs if it didn’t work out.

I’ve got it, now what do I do with it?

Once you get your purchase home, you’ll need to know how to use it. Sometimes second-hand slings don’t come with the original printed or DVD instructions.

YouTube has plenty of online instructions - just look out for good lighting so you can see what they’re doing, and watch more than one video in case the first one you see isn’t doing it right. I invested in a Tummy2Tummy DVD, as it shows non-brand-specific instructions for all the basic sling styles - you could try borrowing a copy from a local babywearing group (some Australian Breastfeeding Association groups also have a copy in their library). Many manufacturer DVDs can be used for other brands in the same style (eg the DVD for one brand of ring sling could be used to learn how to use other brands of ring sling). Ask around and you may be able to borrow someone else’s instruction DVD. Best of all though, get yourself to a local babywearers group meeting or find someone else in your area using that style of sling, as there’s nothing like one-on-one instruction when you’re learning something new.

This post is to call out a certain wrap manufacturer, sie wissen wer sie sind!

We all know that self medication isn’t the most sensible course to chart when ill. Certainly when mental illness like Post Natal Depression (PND) is on the cards, talking to a professional is always a good idea. But I held out. I gave it my best shot. I came up with my own therapy to make myself feel better. That’s right: babywearing is good for the soul.

And if babywearing is good for the soul, then FSOT (For Sale or Trade) is the pharmacopia of the slinging masses! It’s escapism! It’s esteem building! It’s a little rush to wake up in the morning and know that there is a package on the way! Long live FSOT!

On the other hand, why does shopping for wraps make me feel better temporarily? To tell the truth, I like to shop. I’m a consumer at the core, always looking for something new. However, postnatal and puffy, my shopping options are no longer what they once were before the era of toothless grins and nappy buckets.

I wear old jeans and sensible cotton jersey nursing tops, I have one pair of shoes I wear daily, my hair is either a mess or in a pre-mess state (which means I haven’t had the kids near me since I last remembered to brush it) and let’s just say that nursing two kids and no longer going to the gym daily (or, indeed, at all) means I’m not entirely the same shape I was before they barged their way into my life in a flurry of contractions and some bad tempered swearing on my part. I should also acknowledge that even if I knew how to apply makeup, no amount of it, no matter how expensive, is going to cover the bags hanging under my eyes.

So I’m tired and overworked and I look terrible like your average mother of two small children. Shopping makes me feel better. But dragging two kids through a shopping mall really doesn’t. So I’m an online shopper.

I’d buy books, which are intellectual and clever, but I don’t have time to read them (and I can go to the library). I’d buy clothes or shoes, but they’re either not going to look good right now (they will one day) or I’ll not be able to wrangle kids in them. I’d buy makeup but I have no idea how to use it and would I really spend five whole minutes applying it when I could be sleeping?

So I buy baby carriers. I can do it online at a whim, juggling the wearee on one knee. Baby carriers make my life easier. They always look good, because they’re stuffed with cute baby and hide the bits that wouldn’t pass muster on a dreadful reality TV program.

But that’s the thing. I’m hiding behind carriers. I feel better when I’m wearing them, not only because they make my baby happy and I’m happy to be close to her- I only need one or two carriers for that. But when I’m babywearing, I don’t have to be me any more. I can be The Mother At the Playground Who is Wonderful With Knots. You see, that wonderful mother Who Is Good With Knots, doesn’t have too many problems. Her kids are under control (they’re tied on), she’s organized (the kids are tied on) and she’s just a little bit annoying (the kids want to get DOWN). It’s a little sad when I think about it like that.

So, for the moment, I’m trying to remember that my “medication” is not doing me any real good, it’s just a temporary departure from mundanity. To a certain wrap manufacturer: haben ihre schlimmsten!

Other posts on postnatal depression:

• Babywearing and postnatal depression
• Butterflymama’s story

Do you have an experience with PND? Do you shop to make yourself feel good? Tell us about it, I can’t be the only one!

When I bought my first sling, I only needed the one. Then I needed a more comfortable one. Then the baby got a little bigger and there was another one. Then I realized I could sew them. Then I decided that I needed to learn how to wrap. Then I needed something with more support than a SPOC. Soon, I needed more support than the non-GSW I had, then more support than the cotton wrap I had. Got anything more supportive?

In the course of my BWing development, I’ve made a few blunders, bought a few things ill-advisedly and generally accumulated too much stuff. Admittedly, FSOT is handy for sending things on, but don’t let the enthusiasts fool you- buying something just because you’re told it will “hold its value” is not a good idea. Some things do resell quicker than others, but you’ll nearly always make some sort of a loss. In a falling market you may make a considerable loss on an expensive sling. And then there’s postage. Let’s not talk about postage across the Pacific!

Eventually, I landed upon the idea of a stash strategy. I have a strategy- a vision of the stash I want and need. I stick to that strategy and, no matter how tempting, I don’t buy anything that doesn’t conform to the strategy. In the long run, I’ll save money, closet space and hours in wasted time and fluids drooling in FSOT listings.

My particular strategy is simple: anything that comes into the house must be usable for both my toddler (almost three), infant (nearly six months) and any other newborns that may arrive (unexpectedly). I don’t do much in the way of handwashing, so the carriers ought to be fairly hardy. I don’t like to treat wraps gently or worry about them, so they can’t be so expensive that I won’t be able to shrug it off when the kids make a stain. That’s my strategy. Simple enough!

When nesting, for example, I didn’t set out to buy gorgeous carriers, soft and suitable for a newborn. To me, they weren’t worth the investment since it would only be for a few months. I did have a couple of wraps already in the stash I’d been holding onto that were suitable for the baby but not the toddler- but they were rehomed very quickly since invariably the toddler wanted whatever wrap the baby was in. There was no point having carriers I didn’t/couldn’t use.

Some people have a stash strategy that balances hard-nosed common sense with a desire to try different things. Others plan their strategy around the ages and stages of their children- soft, stretchy wrap for the newborn period, heavy duty mei tai for the toddler/older baby stage. Others choose according to their own wardrobe or what visually suit themselves or their children. To some people the gender of their children and the colour of their carriers matter, to others not. There are no hard and fast rules except one: it’s your stash so you decide.

Next time you find your keyboard suspiciously wet while checking out FSOT, close your mouth and think. Try and decide how this carrier may fit into the stash that you have and the stash that you want. If you have a stash strategy already in mind, then you’ll find it easier to bring carriers home that you’ll use and love.

What’s your stash strategy? Do you have one? Leave a comment and let us all in on it!