You might have heard that the US CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) published a warning this week about the safety of infant slings. In particular, there have been a number of deaths reported when babies have been carried in bag-style slings where the baby’s face was not visible, or where the baby was able to get into a chin-on-chest position that blocked their airway. The CPSC warning included this useful example of right and wrong ways to position baby in a soft sling:

If you’ve been wondering whether it’s safe to use a baby sling at all with your newborn, don’t panic! Baby slings have been successfully used for thousands of years, in cultures all over the world. Babywearing can help newborn babies (especially premmies) regulate their temperature and breathing, increase milk supply for breastfeeding mothers with low supply, help parents or carers bond with their baby, and help settle babies (especially those with colic or reflux).

What we haven’t had in modern Western society is the knowledge passed on from our mothers and grandmothers about how to use a piece of cloth to carry our babies safely. It’s not enough just to rely on manufacturers to make a sling that is safe to use without instruction.

If you’re looking at getting a sling for your newborn, check out these newborn babywearing videos and instructions to start with; go along to a babywearing meet in your local area; get active on forums like Baby Carriers Downunder, The Babywearer, Intuitive Parenting, or Natural Parenting where there are experienced babywearers to answer your questions; or visit a shop where the staff have been trained in how to position newborns safely in soft slings.

It’s probably time for an update on my high needs cherub. As I blogged about awhile ago, I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks wearing her as consistently as possible and as often as practicable. The theory was that it would offer her enough security to help her move through this permanent state of mindblowing neediness stage.  She’s been worn daily, coslept and breastfed on demand since birth, but something told me that perhaps it wasn’t enough physical attachment to me for this child to be fully secure. So I stepped it up.

It’s working. I think.

She’s not a suddenly altered personality, she’s still (very much) a high needs kiddo, but something tells me we’re on the way up. We’ve also been working on helping her trust her Dad to put her (gently) to sleep and she’s turned a corner there too. It may not have anything to do with babywearing,  it may be the natural shift in her development. At least it’s made me feel like I was doing something to help! She’s still anxious if I am around, but not actively engaged with her, but babywearing helps with that one way or another.

She’s 11 months old and the smiles I catch in the mirror as we pass by (or stop and make faces) make me want to wear her forever. I think we’ll keep this up. Just in case.

What worked for your high needs baby? Leave a comment and let us know.

On a babywearing blog, I suppose the argument I’m going to make here isn’t that surprising. It’s the cure, not the cause.

Here’s my story: I have a high needs baby.  She’s mindblowing. There is only one person she wants to hold her (and, sometimes, touch her): me. At 11 months, it’s been a long and draining year so far. At first I wore her because it was the only way she could be comfortable. She can sit independently and move around quite a bit these days, her reflux is largely resolved, so I don’t have to wear her so often and as such haven’t been (see the injured shoulder saga).

But she’s still very, very anxious with other people and is unwilling to let anyone else care for her. Funnily enough, on the days I wear her all day long (she comes to work with me once a week), she’s as happy as a clam.

Here’s my plan: I’m going to wear her. I’m going to wear her every opportunity I get- not just when she asks for it, not just when she needs it. I’m going to actively hold her as much as she’ll permit. If holding my clingy baby is the cause of her anxiety, then her behaviour won’t change. However, if (as is my theory) responding to her need to be near me and embracing it will help her grow through this stage, we should see some improvement soon.

I’ll report back soon and let you know how it’s going. (Wish me luck!)

Do you have a high-needs child? How do you cope? What’s your strategy for dealing with a child who needs you All. The. Time.? Leave a comment and let us know!

 Birth doesn’t always go to plan. Sometimes it does go to plan and that plan involves a caesar. This can present its own babywearing challenges and Rae, who’s been there twice, lets us in on her strategies for babywearing after major surgery. 

“I’ll be back in a minute…” so said my husband, as he popped his brand new baby, all of one hour old, into our nice, clean ring sling. It was new and crispy. I was exhausted and sore, and, well , very high on the drugs from the c-section. Those first days in hospital are truly amazing - the desire to keep our babies close is so overwhelming.

But how, post C section?

In those first days after the birth, the best place for Mum and baby is in bed, snuggled up skin to skin, getting to know each other. On our way out of the hospital, I finally got a chance to use that ring sling:

For the first six weeks or so at home, I remember being just SO sore, as my body slowly healed. The best sling for this period is just a simple ring sling. There are several ring slings commonly sold through baby stores, but they are all too structured for my taste - too much padding- they severely limit the comfort possible for Mum and baby. They are designed for a very loose cradle carry, which will sit just above the stitches - way too low for comfort!

A simple, unstructured ring sling can be worn initially in a cradle hold and also in a tummy to tummy hold. Both positions keep the baby well away from the incision site, and allow the Mum to sit down and rest in a chair whilst snuggling the baby - a definite plus in that hectic time of adjustment! Instructions are available to make your own, perhaps from a sarong or some fabric from Spotlight - a wonderful thing to do prior to the birth of your first baby!

Once the scar had started to heal, it was time to get some exercise… and the next sling we found really helpful was a simple mei tai. A soft structured carrier would be equally as good for this stage, as would a wrap - they each have their advantages. I have and love each of these styles of carrier:

• A mei tai is easy on and easy off, placing the straps comfortably for a front carry post c-section is very easy, a great help with muscles that are easily tired out.
• A wrap can be worn in Front Cross Carry, which was incredibly easy and supportive of those weak tummy muscles!
• Finally, a soft structured carrier is simply wonderful - there are some really comfortable ones out there. These two shouldered carriers are characterised by a lovely fit through the waist straps, and the baby being placed close to Mum’s tummy with very supportive, comfortable shoulder straps. The more structured waist, with some padding, can be a nice help to remind you to pull the tummy muscles in.

When our second baby arrived three months ago, after another c-section, I took out that ring sling and got to wear it all over again! Only this time, I was running around after a busy toddler all too soon..

This time, I really found a wrap worn in a Front Cross Carry was invaluable. It was so handy to be able to pop the baby in and out of the wrap for feeding, whilst being able to spend some time with my daughter.

This particular wrap carry is very fast and easy to learn, and provides lovely back support for those weak muscles! I also left it on all day long - so we could drive to the park or shops, then pop the baby back in, get the toddler out of the car - and enjoy some time together. Here we are at about 3 months post c-section.

Thanks to Rae for her insight into babywearing post-caesar. Have you had a caesar? Did you babywear afterwards? What worked for you? What didn’t? Leave a comment and let us know!

Parenting in Public Ain’t For Wimps.

From the minute we have left the “safety” of closed doors, we are a walking, talking, mobile piece of artwork. We’re visible. The choices we make are on display. And if you choose to do something which is atypical in your community, you lose your anonymity. Like a goth at a Laura Ashley appreciation meeting, you stand out. I think. I’ve never been to a Laura Ashley appreciation meeting.

For us, we left the hospital with our two babies in a sling. A gorgeous sling. Orange, red, blue, green – nothing quiet about it. We got stopped every 5 metres between the door to the Special Care Nursery and the elevator. In the elevator, we were trapped with “twin tourists”. Then we got gawked at and stopped every 5 metres from the elevator to the exit. It seemed like 30 minutes before we were safely - and privately - in the car.

Parenting in public is difficult. Your decisions are sort of on display, and baby wearing is really obvious. No matter how neutral your wrap, sling, MT or other carrier is, it seems to glow neon when you’re out and about. Parents who wear their babies in public are brave. They are saying “I’ve thought about this; I’ve consciously decided to parent this way and even though you look at me and talk as I walk past, I am going to do what I believe is right by these kids.”

Taking your newborn out in public seems to have a magnetic effect – people seem compellingly drawn to you and your wee one. Wearing them somehow increases the magnetism, and wearing two children must be akin to the force of a neodymium magnet! It has taken about 7 months of wearing the babies in public for me to feel a sense of acceptance about the attention. In a way, I say “bring it on!” – because my children will only have this time once. My conscience tells me it’s important that babies be worn close to my heart. My conscience tells me not to distance my children from myself; to keep them near to me physically and emotionally. I don’t think it’s the easiest way to parent – and there are times when I really tire of having child after child all over me – but I believe it is right.

If you’re going to make it through with your sensibilities intact, you’re going to need support. It’s wonderful if you can get that support from your friends and family, but there’s every chance they won’t understand immediately. Please know you’re welcome to join the forums at BCD; we’d love to help support you on your parenting journey.

Do you find babywearing makes you conspicuous? Is it a positive or negative experience for you? Leave a comment and let us know!

Leaving Hospital with a Premmie (or two).

When you are pregnant, you normally anticipate things will go a certain way; maybe the way previous pregnancies have gone, or maybe better! Some people expect particular hiccups because of their medical history and so on.

For me, I expected two things. Literally, I expected two babies, because I was pregnant with twins, and secondly, I expected to need to fight hospital policy. I think every IRONY light in heaven and earth was flashing, when at 34 weeks, I sent my husband and son to Adelaide for some follow up medical visits, and my daughter went to visit a girlfriend for the morning. Ah, peace… I remember I was going to rest that day; I was going to read, and I was going to spend some time at peace. Just as soon as my midwives visited and left. Except things didn’t quite work out that way. My midwives walked in, said “ooh, you don’t look very good” (which is what every 34-week-pregnant-with-twins woman wants to hear) and “go pee on this!” Having experience peeing on sticks, I did as I was told. It was more fun finding out I was pregnant than it was finding out I had protein out of the stratosphere. Blah. Add the revolting oedema that made my ankles practically slosh, and the blood pressure paralleled only by a job interview for a position you really want, and there I was, at home, my family elsewhere, being told to pack and bag and go to the hospital.

So, all the fight out of my sails, that’s how I was going to end this pregnancy. A premature Caesar at 34 weeks. Perhaps you’re pregnant as you read this. Listen, when you’re done, spend a few minutes looking into what you want to do if your baby is born early and needs to go to special care. I had done a little bit of reading, but there was so much I didn’t know until well after we all came home. I’ll say from the outset – we all make it home safely.

The birth story is pretty good, and the way my friends helped look after my two big kids was just fantastic, but this blog post is really about getting out of the special care nursery (hereafter, SCN). You may have read my earlier post about baby wearing in the nursery… if not, check out LINK. Being in the SCN was awful – fine for a day or so, but after that, really tedious. Every nurse had a different opinion on everything, from sibling visits to bathing to feeding to formula. If you are ever in the same situation, it would help to know what you think about all these things. For us, we just flew by the seat of our pants as we worked on getting the babies from 1700g and 2200g to the acceptable-but-arbitrary-weight-required-to-go-home.

Finally, our featherweight baby girl hit 2200g. We’d been in the nursery for a life time, but on day 20, we were finally able to fly the coop! We had the two car capsules installed, and like all parents of newborns, we did the strange journey from the maternity area to the car park.

However, we did it a little differently to most parents. I slipped my ring sling – just the one – over my shoulder, and settled their tiny 2700g and 2200g bodies on my chest. I settled them in tummy-to-tummy (theirs to mine) and side by side (one another) as I had so many times for cuddles, and we waited for an ice age for the doctors to officially say “go on, get out!” and then we stood up, and walked out the door.

We knew a bit about how we wanted to parent; we have two older children and had been working on refining our beliefs and practises for a while. While the babies really were small, they were also healthy and strong. We saw no reason not to use carriers, and saw a lot of good reasons why we should.

• Kangaroo care has been shown to benefit premature babies
• Keeping the newborns close allowed us to continue being involved with our older kids activities- and our own
• Wearing the newborns meant we could respond to their needs more quickly
• Wearing the newborns meant my precious, residual, often depleted energy was conserved by not having to get up and down to them constantly

If you have a premature – or even small-for-dates baby – unless you are given a solid medical reason not to, baby wearing is going to help you. Unless there’s a medical reason not to, baby wearing is going to be beneficial to your baby/babies. Whether your premmie (or preemie – both are used) is your first child or your tenth, you are going to want them to feel settled, calm, peaceful and secure. Keeping them close to your heart is going to do this. You might choose not to socialise – especially out of the home – for longer because of immunity concerns; you may be recovering from major surgery and not as mobile as you normally were; you may have had weeks in special care where you had every last drop of self-assurance and strength removed from your body, but there comes a point where you are free to make the parenting choices you believe to be right. Go for it!

A premature baby can be worn in a soft sling or a soft wrap. My own experience has been that a mei tai is too large and a soft structured carrier is too inflexible, but you may have a different experience. Do join the Baby Carriers Downunder forum if you haven’t already – people are always willing to share their experiences and help you find your way on this parenting path.

I don’t think these photos are particularly flattering to me - but here you go: Ruby leaving the hospital with the twins at 20 days.

Have you left hospital with a special care baby? A premmie (or two)? Another baby who had a special care start to the world? How did you find it? Did you wear your special care baby? Leave a comment and let us know!